My ex and I had a theme song, as many couples do, and that theme song was “Far Away” by Nickleback. The reason that we chose a song about distance rather than romance alone is because separation really has been a dominant theme throughout our relationship. His mission was the worst ten months of my life, and I wasn’t even waiting for him. My best friend happened to be officially waiting for a missionary at the same time, yet she seemed to have somehow escaped the depth of misery that had managed to swallow me up completely.

I remember when fall came that year and we both began our senior year of high school. We were both dressed to the nines and feeling good, prepared with our new school supplies, wardrobes, and an On Top of the World mentality. I had prepared for the coming school year by gluing pictures of my missionary into the insides of all of my notebooks, decorating the covers with poems he had written me, and buying up all the “I Heart My Missionary” memorabilia I could lay my hands on. I was fully prepared to begin spending every moment pining after my missionary.

My friend had prepared as well, but her preparations and mine differed enormously. She planned on pining, but she also planned on playing. From the moment they began orientation, she was peering around excitedly to begin documenting all the new or improved faces. By the end of the day she had a list of all the most attractive guys.

I was astounded. I had planned on dating people during my boyfriend’s absence, had even opened up to the possibility that some other guy might come along and sweep me off my feet, but I had never even considered actively seeking new relationships. I knew that she was just as much in love with her missionary as I was with mine, but she had somehow managed to put him behind her for the time being so that she could enjoy herself. I remember occasions where I would hear her pine after her missionary and the latest guy in the same breath. You would have been hard pressed to get me to even notice that there was a male in the room.
The only conclusion I felt I could draw form this was that I was a good, faithful girlfriend and that she had some serious personality defects. From an unbiased point of view, we’ll notice that she was happy and I was miserable. I was happy in my misery however, and my righteous indignation kept me going.

Some time into his mission, Elder Absent became very sick and was sent home a short while later. This was tragic, yet, in my mind, it was proof that God loved me and wanted me to be happy and sane. My friend’s missionary returned a few months after mine; shortly following, she and I both became engaged to said R.M.s. So, considering that the results of those long, long months were identical, we may find ourselves thinking that I was the one who missed out, that I could have enjoyed myself and still gotten the guy in the end. All I have to say is that anyone who thinks that has obviously never met the guys in my high school.